One must be great before Two can be better

Early last week, I posted a blog entry titled Two are better than one – unless we’re talking about weeds!”  It included a gardening metaphor related to relationships. I promised to follow up with a “plain English” version of that metaphor, so today I’m delivering just that.

The following are some of my thoughts on relationship principles.  They are as applicable to my relationships with friends and family as they are to my romantic relationship.

  1. I can identify, love and fully accept my authentic self before I can successfully love and accept anyone else. My ability to be happy by myself is a prerequisite for being happy with someone else.
  2. When I choose to invest in a loving relationship and commitment to another, it is in full recognition that they are perfect – and perfectly deserving of my love – just the way they are and they way they are not. For instance, I wouldn’t commit to a relationship with an introvert and then expect them to be happy going to parties with me every weekend.
  3. Successful relationships aren’t necessarily the result of hard work. In my experience, it’s more important to  to communicate clearly, frequently and lovingly to ensure clarity about expectations and address conflicts (about things that really matter) before they become battles, which strung together become wars.
  4. Closely related to the above is the act of simply, truly and sincerely releasing the things that don’t really matter from influencing my interactions with my loved one.
  5. Aretha Franklin had it right all along – R-E-S-P-E-C-T is a key ingredient for relationships. Respecting, honoring and being grateful for those I care about is a powerful elixir for joyful relationships.

So what’s your answer – are two better than one? From my perspective, One and Two are not comparable, nor are they in competition with each other. One must be already great before Two can be better.  I’d love to hear your thoughts!

  • What are a couple of your relationship principles?
  • When are Two better than One?

Thanks for reading!

Love, Tomboy Tam

One thought on “One must be great before Two can be better

  1. Pingback: Day 5, and finale of leg 1, 2012-2013 winter motorcycle adventure | The Adventures of Tomboy Tam

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